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Ms. Independent, so they say...
Being an "Independent Woman" has become all the new rage now. Everybody is rapping, singing, and talking about how they want a woman who has her own and can do for herself. But do they really? I don't think so. I think they want a woman who has their back if things get tight but REALLY, they want a woman to "play her position" when it's convenient. You know smile and be a trophy in public, while handling all the behind the scenes work without getting any credit. I think they call that "ghost production." LOL!
I pose this question because as an "Independent Woman"-in quotations because I am now married-my life experiences have led me to believe otherwise. Why do I say this? As the judgemental beings we are, most of the time when we see a beautiful woman who is dressed nice, carries herself well, drives a nice car, and appears to have a little bit of stability-money in the bank-they automatically assume that a man is doing it for her, or at least contributing. It's a complete "ghost production" if she's wearing an engagement ring and/or wedding band.
Before I was married, I purchased my own home without any help from a man, I purchased my own car without any help from a man, and I supported my own spa and shopping habits, once again, without any help from a man. But to my surprise, men that I dated would enter my home, and the first question they'd ask was, "You live here by yourself?" I'd simply smile but be thinking "WTF?!?!?". They thought that offering me money for bills or shopping was all I required, instead of time and attention.
Don't get me wrong, my father, a man, was there to help during my journey to independence but he was a man who taught me to fish, not just providing me with fish and a loaf of bread. He taught me to work hard at working smart and then I don't have to work hard, just smart.
Now that I'm married to a good man, who happens to be a doctor, I consider myself to be a WHB-Woman Handling Business-but, people automatically assume that I'm being taken care of. Was I not fly BEFORE I got married? HELLO, what do you think attracted him? Why do you think his mother loves me? Because she knows I'm not after her son's money since I have my own. Did I not have this fur coat BEFORE I even started dating him? Let me get this straight, MY car gets smashed and HE gets a new one, giving me his old car? Does that make any sense? Please, don't get it twisted, we are comfortable now because I worked hard at providing stability for myself BEFORE we got married and while he was in medical school. Yes, two incomes does help. But, if it had not been for MY hard work and, let's not forget, money, our standard of living would not be where it is today. My husband is very humble and does not take any credit for things that he is not responsible. It just bothers me that he has to make the disclaimer, "Naw, she did that." No ghost production with him. :-)
I pose this question because as an "Independent Woman"-in quotations because I am now married-my life experiences have led me to believe otherwise. Why do I say this? As the judgemental beings we are, most of the time when we see a beautiful woman who is dressed nice, carries herself well, drives a nice car, and appears to have a little bit of stability-money in the bank-they automatically assume that a man is doing it for her, or at least contributing. It's a complete "ghost production" if she's wearing an engagement ring and/or wedding band.
Before I was married, I purchased my own home without any help from a man, I purchased my own car without any help from a man, and I supported my own spa and shopping habits, once again, without any help from a man. But to my surprise, men that I dated would enter my home, and the first question they'd ask was, "You live here by yourself?" I'd simply smile but be thinking "WTF?!?!?". They thought that offering me money for bills or shopping was all I required, instead of time and attention.
Don't get me wrong, my father, a man, was there to help during my journey to independence but he was a man who taught me to fish, not just providing me with fish and a loaf of bread. He taught me to work hard at working smart and then I don't have to work hard, just smart.
Now that I'm married to a good man, who happens to be a doctor, I consider myself to be a WHB-Woman Handling Business-but, people automatically assume that I'm being taken care of. Was I not fly BEFORE I got married? HELLO, what do you think attracted him? Why do you think his mother loves me? Because she knows I'm not after her son's money since I have my own. Did I not have this fur coat BEFORE I even started dating him? Let me get this straight, MY car gets smashed and HE gets a new one, giving me his old car? Does that make any sense? Please, don't get it twisted, we are comfortable now because I worked hard at providing stability for myself BEFORE we got married and while he was in medical school. Yes, two incomes does help. But, if it had not been for MY hard work and, let's not forget, money, our standard of living would not be where it is today. My husband is very humble and does not take any credit for things that he is not responsible. It just bothers me that he has to make the disclaimer, "Naw, she did that." No ghost production with him. :-)
